Sorry i disappeared from WordPress :(

I was recently involved in an existential search and needed to see the real world. My experiences have led me to move from home state (Michigan)…I feel very out of place here, the average age in my town is 45 and the area i live in is a consumer’s paradise (Great for people who like to shop/eat in their spare time, but not for me).

There is much to do and see in the country, i do not want to wait until i am middle-aged to travel. Michigan is a beautiful state, we have the largest supply of fresh water in the country…But when that state has trouble providing residents of one of our larger cities with clean water, it was a definitive sign to move on.

Our State government gave 280 million dollars to a family worth 6 billion for a hockey arena while residents in Flint were being poisoned.

My community college professors made 6 figures, while the graduates of Oakland Community college average 10-15 an hour. My finals were open book/open notes and one of the teachers explained why…The school gets more federal and state funding based on performance (Higher GPA average=Higher wages for teachers).

MI-Exit is my only option at this point, hopefully i can come back to my home after these atrocities to the lower and middle class are over.


I love my home state and my family, Motor city guitar is the best music store in the state (Independently owned small business)


Stop allowing corporate interest to dominate this state…If we developed our parks and lakes, we could make more revenue in Tourism than ANY state. Imagine all of the people who want to escape the south during the summer….Northern Michigan is the best kept secret in this country.


John frusciante cover-This cold

I don’t need a ride to arrive
I don’t feel approached any time
If you feel a fader on a decline
Out of all you’ve ever been
And you won’t need time
You never need time
I don’t need this every god
You see every ghost am I
Have we found a phase to be out of
Transfer all your thoughts to me*
And you won’t need love**
We don’t need love
I don’t need this sin to go
Down to where all forevers flow
Every fate revealed slow
Never talking back to me
Say it out loud
I feel this cold
I never stay and I never go

*Transfer your thoughts online

**And you won’t need LOVE?!-motto for the digital age

As you can tell i need some work on vocals/singing (never had any training on how to sing properly, slowly learning)


Welcome back-Song #3 by m

1. All the times i said to you
Goodbye my lord
See the signs i cannot doubt
Yahweh is found
2. Science is a modern joke
So laugh at it
Self fulfillment is a hoax
Don’t trust in it
3. Crying out is just a sign
that we’re not fine
Fallen empire of the mind
time to rewind
4. Mental prison of our life
Collect your thoughts
Don’t let nature be a blight
your eyes are blind
We just drift into a void of what we see is wrong
Goodbye my lord, we cut the chord
Sex addictions with countless victims, they try
to fill the void with emptiness
Advertising in our comprimisement, so you cry
Where is my lord? he cut the chord
Our foul mindset and bad disguises, it’s wicked
Come back my lord, we feel alone.


Letter to my mother

Under a different light
My memories have been negatively focused almost my entire adult life, so my gift to you for Mother’s Day is to show you how my cynical attitude throughout the years has ruined my perspective. Surrounding myself with bad company wasn’t a value you tried to enforce on me and like I have said recently, the decisions I made as an adult weren’t the best ones. Heck, until Arby’s and Valerie I don’t think I had held a job or a girlfriend for a whole year. I spent so much time jumping around to different jobs, friends, and girlfriends that I lost track of who I really was. But enough of that, I put the LAME in lament with that kind of jive talking.
My favorite memory would have to be sticking my head in your purse during the smurf ride at king’s island, I can remember the scary music that played before the Gargamel statue like it was yesterday. The smurfs were a happy community regardless of oppression, I hate the fact that the bridge between middle-class and wealthy has increased so much over the years….but instead of constantly bitching about it, maybe I should just watch an episode or two of the smurfs!
Number two would have to be getting the Nintendo for my 5th birthday. Not a lot of 5 year olds that lived in trailed parks had a Nintendo in 1989!! Although it unlocked an addiction that put school on the back burner during my teen years, it was (still is) a form of meditation and way to fulfill my competitive needs. I do regret spent more time living in the world of Final Fantasy then I did with my family. We both know it was like pulling teeth trying to get me away from those games sometimes, so I can see why it became a futile battle for you!
This section is for all the times you left work to pick me up from school when I was sick, you would always do everything you could to help me feel better. I’m sorry I took advantage of your empathy sometimes by faking ear infections and whatnot, now that I look back it was really an asshole thing to do. You left work and lost money basically because I didn’t want to go to school that day, not cool on my part.
Another great series of memories was playing Dr. Mario and Pac Attack together. You went out of your way to take interest in one of my hobbies so we could spend time together and I really appreciated that. You were really good at them too, I remember you used to get to level 100 sometimes!
Playing baseball with you, Dad, and Nicky was a great time as well. I had fun in little league, the time you took out of your life to get me to practice and come to my games isn’t available to every kid….just the lucky ones. I’ll never forget the time Dad broke his toe playing kickball with us. I think he was trying to pop it up so it would be easier for us to catch, but ending up hitting the wrong angle. Also when Kevin and I broke the laundry room window that time you didn’t suspend my baseball privileges, like most parents would have.
The next memory of appreciation is getting the computer, getting used to that technology at a young age was extremely helpful. Even though they were ridiculously overpriced and we paid more for that thing then I did for my first two cars, you guys took hard earned money to give me advantages in life. I am starting to realize how stupid I am for taking you guys for granted.
I can’t count how many birthday’s I had as a kid where you made me feel like king for a day. Any activity I wanted to do I could…from laser tag, Dragon heart the movie, baseball, go karts, leaps and bounds, to chuck e cheese. Most kids just get a cake and presents, not red carpet.
There are so many great memories that I am forgetting the most defining one of all. Where would I be without knowing how to play guitar today? I definitely wouldn’t be in church right now, probably wouldn’t have made it even a month there. I don’t know if I would even be sane…. had I of just smoked pot without having a tool to keep my motor functions sharp, I would not be a productive and creative person at all. It gave me something to obsess about other than the negative aspects of our country and society that I always tend to look at too deeply. It’s the only thing in my life that I feel like I am amazing at, it’s a shame I can’t do more with my talent besides play in a church at the moment but I’m only 30 years old…look at Keith Richards and Paul Mccartney, doing it at 70. The Red hot Chili Peppers are 50 and they still got a lotta funk left!
Making a conscience decision to switch schools was probably the best thing that could have happened to me. Thank you for driving me to Milford every day, it gave me a chance to realign my life and figure out who I was instead of being what my so called “friends” wanted. After hanging out with Scott, Tim, and Ryan for a while I saw myself going down a very bad road. After I switched schools, all 3 of them moved on to worse drugs than pot. When my head was stomped on the cement by that kid in Cedarbrook after the fight was already over.. Ryan, Scott, and Tim stood there and watched me get my ass kicked..I knew then that the people I considered my best friends didn’t give two shits about me. It didn’t make sense to me why we would be friends with the same type of people who bullied us for playing magic cards and other nerdy hobbies. Maybe we did it because we were sick of being the “nerds”, maybe we were going through puberty and did everything we could to be more appealing to girls, but we definitely sold ourselves out in the process. Thank you for getting me out of that mess, at Milford I had much better friends, a girlfriend, and less access to drugs (laugh).
Wow, when I go back and look at all these blessings it makes me feel like I have adopted the attitude that “nothing is ever good enough”. Thinking about all this has put things into perspective, my ability to point out flaws has blinded me from the truth of the matter. I’m sorry for making you think that all of the things you have done for me have been in vain, because I appreciate every inch of our journey together. Happy Mother’s Day and I love you.